THE VIRTUE OF PATIENCE

‘It is essential to cultivate the quality of patience’ - we have all heard Baba say that many times. Yet, how many of us can honestly say that we are seriously trying to do that? Although we know that patience is an essential virtue, it remains one of life’s most difficult lessons. In this "day and age" of instant gratification, it sometimes seems that patience is a forgotten commodity. We live by the joke that says "God grant me patience, and give it to me right away”!

The Oxford dictionary defines ‘patience’ as: the capacity to tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or upset. In spirituality, the word patience is synonymous with faith. To have patience is to have faith - in ourselves, in our fellow humans, in life, and most importantly in God. Being patient does not mean sitting around waiting for things to happen. Instead, it means to work as hard and as long as necessary, without giving up, until we reach our destination or goal. For a spiritual aspirant, patience is not only about enduring a long wait, but it is also about enduring insults, provocation, and mistreatment without any resentment, anger, or bitterness. Patience is also an expression of compassion and therefore we need to tolerate the faults of others and wish them well.

When we abandon patience, we abandon self-discipline. How hard it is to be patient! Sometimes we are impatient for something to end, and sometimes for something to begin. Generally, our impatience usually denotes a lack of acceptance of what is "the now". We are impatient for tomorrow to come, we are impatient for the weekend, we are impatient for a promotion, for a new house, etc. etc.; it seems that there are always reasons to be impatient. We ignore our "now" because we have a vision of how things could or "should" be!

Another instance where patience is often sorely lacking is when dealing with our fellow human beings. We get impatient because someone is "slow", "stupid", "opinionated", "stubborn", "useless", "arrogant", etc. We let our impatience turn into judgment and anger, and end up creating mini-wars!

We even lack patience with ourselves! We are impatient with ourselves for not being "good enough"; for not yet having dropped whatever habit we are trying to break, for not being the person we know we can be, for acting from our "lower self" instead of our "higher self. It places us in the position of judge and jury, rather than a source of support.

So how can we cultivate this essential virtue of Patience? Patience is not something that comes automatically.  It has to be learned.  It has to be acquired and we have to be trained in that. 

We have the best example in our lives, Sathya Sai Baba! Just think of how much patience He has with us, yet do we learn anything from Him? We discipline our children out of anger, while He disciplines us out of love. We are eager to punish the person who provokes us, while He is eager to forgive. We are eager to exercise our authority, while He is eager to exercise his love.

Baba says that the reason we lose patience is because we do not have faith. He reminds us at every step to have faith in ourselves and most importantly, faith in Him. Once we develop full faith in God, we will automatically acquire patience.

We need to learn to live with love and acceptance of others. It is often too easy for us to judge them, feel angry, or self righteous! Impatience with the shortcomings of others usually has its roots in ego. Patience also does not ignore the provocations of others; it simply seeks to respond to them in a godly manner. It is always easier to be selfish than to be loving; judgmental and critical than supportive. But the price we pay is great. The price is the loss of love, joy, and true inner peace. We all know, unconsciously at least, that we can not change anyone else. We can only change ourselves. And the wonderful thing is that the more accepting we become of ourselves and others, the more loving we become, the less judgmental and critical, the more the people around us (including ourselves) are able to change.

When we feel aggravated at ourselves or someone else, maybe we need to ask ourselves "What difference will this make in 7 days, 7 weeks, 7 years?" That may help to put things into perspective!

When we control our own thoughts and focus them on a specific set of goals, then we have taken full control of our life. We will no longer be a victim of circumstances as we begin to take responsibility for our actions. During this process, things will be as negative or as positive as we make them and may take longer than we like. It is not always going to be easy. However with continual awareness and self-audit we will definitely make progress. The hard part is overcoming our past behavior and attitudes; once we open our hearts to patience, faith, unconditional love and acceptance, the path will get easier.

So from this moment on, let us sincerely begin to be patient with ourselves, with those around us, and with the world in general. Let us have faith that love will prevail. And pray to Swami for the strength to continue on our journey!

Madhvi Lamba